I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
