Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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