Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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