Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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