maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize