That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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