I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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