FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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