it hurts more in the daytime
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
