The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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