I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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