I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
