he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize