You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
