This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize