belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
