Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
