just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
