now i know why i became what i already was.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
