You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
