Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
