Yo dont text me then not text me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize