He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
