I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
