I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
