News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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