we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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