I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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