Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
