i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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