There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
