You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
