i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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