There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
