Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
