There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
