plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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