chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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