I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
