Screwed.edu
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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