Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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