There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
