is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
