then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize