We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
