Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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