Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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