she woke up with a sticky ear
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
