Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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