Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
