a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
