please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
