hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
