So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
