i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
