Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize