absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
