Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hippo gnu deer
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
