I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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