Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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