Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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