i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
