I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
