I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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