All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
