I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
