I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
