i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
