I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
