Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
