Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize