i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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